Poor life choices end in a 3 day juice cleanse.
JuiceWell 3 day cleanse (purchased with a Gilt City coupon)
How I’m Feeling
Pretty good. Slept well again. Saw that I had an awesome looking morning juice so was totally ready to get Day 3 started and over.
Day 3 Juice 1: “crantastic” (cranberry, orange, apple, ginger) Oh this is delightful! I love cranberry. Ginger is back playing a starring role. Hey old friend. This is going to be a wonderful day! Oh I wish I had a straw to sip this through, it would make it so much more fun!
Day 3 Juice 2: “green clean” (cucumber, celery, swiss chard, kale, parsley, dandelion, lemon, and ginger) Oh this is going to miserable I know it. Not a fruit in sight. It looks like moss and mold. I wish they would balance out these juices more. Put some yummy fruit in there. Put more veggies in the fruity ones. This flip flopping between delightful and miserable is just killing me. I keep giving it the side eye hoping it’ll change or not be as bad as I know it will. Oh god here goes.Yeah, this is gunna suck.
Day 3 Juice 3: “strawberry goji” (coconut, strawberry, goji berry, vanilla) Guys, these smoothies are da bomb. Also I’m thinking I need to start making smoothies at home, with coconut. I know! Revelation. I hate coconut. But if I can fight with a coconut and get an amazing smoothie like this, I just might be into it. Get back at me in a few months though on that one.
Day 3 Juice 4: “rad” (fennel, spinach, and apple). Oh boy. Green juice. Like hella green juice. I seriously doubt I’ll find this one “Rad” as they proclaim. Definitely not sniffing this one. Alright guys, this one isn’t too bad. It’s kinda funky. It starts out apple-y, and then kinda grassy, I totally taste the fennel, interesting addition. I’m not hating it. I hope I get a yummy cashew milk tonight. i’ll be sad if i didn’t realize the first was the only one I got. I didn’t savor it enough!
Day 3 Juice 5 “mojo” (carrot, beet, celery, romain, tomato, parsley, garlic, cayenne, mesquite) I got really excited when I first saw this juice. It looked just like “the rose”. Then I read the ingredients. Those two-timing buttholes! There isn’t a single fruit in here! If you’re going to help someone through a juice cleanse throw ’em a freakin’ bone! Took a sip. Nope, not a damn thing can save this one. Down the drain it goes. Not even gunna try. Now I’m just pissed. The last three juices (besides my smoothie) were miserable. Figure your shit out JuiceWell cuz this all fruits and all veggie juices, without any cross over. Not fun.
Day 3 Juice 6: “cashew & hemp” (cashew, hemp seed, date, cinnamon and vanilla) Oh thank god at least I can drink this. But I’m so starved I guzzle it down and am still hungry, so I cheat/quit. I guzzle a handful of saltines. OH YOU SALTY GODS! HOW I BOW BEFORE THINE ALTAR! Shit. Now I’ve eaten more food than I have in three days and my stomach is upset. Dammit. Fail.
To be continued….